Intolerence....it's intolerable.

I've returned after a long absence yet again. I've got something to say.

Well, who's kidding. It's me. I've got many somethings to say. All the time. But....something in particular I wanted to expand on tonight. Before I feed my beautiful 5 month old daughter and then promptly pass out. (Who knew a 5 month old + a 4 year old + work + cleaning + laundry + somuchmore meant one exhausted mama?!)

There has been something I've encountered a lot of lately. Something that has left a bad taste in my mouth and a weight on my heart. That is intolerance. Intolerance of other people's choices. Their religion. Their diet. Their clothes. Their car. Their phone. Their hair. Their tattoos. Their orientation, sexual or otherwise. Intolerance of another person as a whole basically. All because they do not agree on something. Or somethingS. Still, this intolerance. It astounds me. It's hurts my heart, even if it's not aimed at me.

God calls us to love one another. Unconditionally, unsparingly, and with our whole hearts. Now, to say this is easy is....in one word...unbelievablyridiculous. That's kind of the beauty of it. To love someone unconditionally means to challenge ourselves as a human being, as a follower of Christ, and it helps us grow. I'm not sure I know one person, who has chosen to extend love and tolerance to others that doesn't lead a happier life. Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them all the time. Loving someone doesn't mean that you'll understand them, relate to them, or even like them, 100% of the time. What gets me is the lack of selflessness I see in others to say "Hey, maybe I don't understand or agree with them...but I bet they are making a decision they feel, with their whole heart, is right for them. For their family. For their life." 

My personal belief is you do not need to believe in God to have the ability, or hopefully the willingness, to take the time to understand where someone you love is coming from. I fully believe that knowing and accepting who God is, what he's done for us, and expects from us, gives us the ability to be more loving and tolerant of others. It should anyway.

BUT, I digress.

In my life, I've made an array of decisions. ((Shocking, I know!)) Some I look back on now and wonder "what in the hell was I thinking, where was MY jimminey cricket?". Some, I couldn't see my life without. The wonderful thing about it is, whether or not I knew it then..or know it yet...each decision has shaped the type of person I am today.  I was raised in a manner that let me know I would accept and face the consequences of my decisions. It's not to say I wouldn't go back and change some decisions if I could....because...I'd have some serious thinking to do if that were an option. What I face as an adult, as a mama especially, is that my decisions now affect these tiny human beings that trust me with their whole being. My children. [[ I can confidently focus on my children, because my husband is a large part of almost every decision I make, so he isn't clueless to the consequences that may come.]] Being that I have a 4 year old son in preschool and a 5 month old daughter...I get a lot of advice from many different people. If I'm being quite honest, I appreciate any and all advice offered because most of the time my biggest frustration or anxiety is not knowing where to start. Whether I'm talking about breastfeeding, if my son is ready for kindergarten, or what cute outfit I just *have* to purchase and show my kids off in. 

What I've run into most over the past 4 years, and especially these past 5 months, is other moms who will not, in my opinion, even try and understand some of the decisions I've made for my children. One topic in particular is quickly making its way to the top of my 'ermahgaawd, I'm never going to talk to anyone about this ever again' list. That's breastfeeding. Not breastfeeding in general, but ME breastfeeding. Recently, I've had to stop due to some new medication I need to help with arthritis. This is both heartbreaking and relieving at the same time. I've been in some pain for a while now thanks to arthritis. Its always been an ongoing thing in my life, but I've usually been able to grin and bare or manage the pain. Until this Fall. It was a hard decision to admit to my husband that I'm in so much pain I can not longer button our daughter's onesies. It was a hard decision to pick up the phone to call my doctor and make an appointment. It was a hard decision to accept my doctor, who I trust very much, say that the best plan of action to ensure I have less, or maybe no, pain...is to take medicine in which I am unable to breastfeed on. I mean, even if you don't believe (although it's been proven) that breastfeeding is the best source of nutrition for your baby....who wouldn't want that sweet, and might I add limited, bonding time with your precious infant?

 It goes without saying that there are many ways to bond with and love on your infant. So lets not go to crazy with my last statement, huh?


Anyhow, I know I'm personally probably making this particular happening in my life more dramatic because I know that I have some insecurity in my decision. I wanted so bad to go a full year so she got the most of all the amazing benefits from breastfeeding. I let people who challenge my decision not just hurt me like when someone pushes on a sore bruise, but I allow them it to make me question the decision I've made. Which in turn makes me remember and challenge other decisions I've wrestled over or struggled with. I'm, of course, not referring to people offering helpful advice in situations where they've seen my struggle or I've asked for it. I'm referring to those people who battle every explanation I've given with a reason why my decision for my daughter and my family is not right. The feeling of not being accepted as a mother who has chosen the best for her children is, for me, unbearable. I've recently come to the realization though....that's because I let it be unbearable. In reality, when I'm not emotional about the frustration some people bring, it's them I feel sorry for. Them I should most definitely say a prayer for. Those people who constantly feel the need to tackle others with their beliefs, religious or otherwise, are probably the people who are the least content in their life. Not everyone is going to believe the same thing as the next person, why do people feel the need to challenge, degrade, and change that?

My most important job on this planet, and in this lifetime, will be taking care of those two beautiful children. Maybe one day more. To raise them to be God fearing, God loving, respectful, knowledgeable, happy, selfless, and loving adults. My greatest accomplishment will be knowing I've done the best I could for those children. And where I lack, God fills those holes. Moments like these I feel myself sigh a sigh of relief. I'm not alone. Not only do I have a loving husband to help raise these beautiful children, but a loving God who will fill voids where I fall short.

Who is anyone to judge me for choosing to stop breastfeeding at 5 months? for vaccinating my  children? Why are people intolerant of my choice to spank my child, if I deem it necessary-which I'll have you know is a lot less than it could be. These are just some of the issues, as a mama-and a tired one at that-I am encountering in my life right now. There are many issues..political, religious, social, etc.. that I could use to express my frustration..but this is what's heavy on my heart tonight. What I needed to get off my chest. I want to be in a world where I feel like people are more tolerant of others. Where the advice given to a friend is just that...advice. Not a demand or expectation in the form of advice. No backhanded comments or belittling my decisions because you may not understand or agree with them.

Am I reaching anyone with this? Does any of this even make sense? Or am I just rambling through writing, like I so commonly do while talking?

Maybe one day I'll know. Maybe not. What I do know, I feel better. I realized even while writing this that I have tolerance and love to work on, too. Not that I had thought otherwise. If you leave with one thing tonight...let it be that, although you may not realize you're doing it...if you're challenging a decision someone else has made for their life, and you may not know all the circumstances-or you do and just don't agree-don't lose sight of the fact that you're called (as a human being if nothing else) to love others. How you love them is up to you. But love them nonetheless. Realize you may be hurting someone more than you know by questioning what you don't understand. We all have opinions, thoughts, expectations. Not everyone is right, but certainly not everyone else is wrong.

















Thanks for reading!

< 3 MamaMack

Sunday Funday!

Hello all on this bitterly cold Monday night!

I hope those of you who had the day free from work, enjoyed it. Although freezing, the sun shining when it did made for a pretty beautiful day. I myself worked a full day, but with no banks or post office open there was much work accomplished. Of course, I always prefer to be at home cuddling or playing with my Aidie babe, but I'm blessed to at least have a paycheck.

I wanted to post a little about the last day of our weekend, Sunday. It was actually a pretty fun filled day. Being a working mama, even if it is only part time, I am trying harder to make the days I have off of work more centered around doing fun and (hopefully) educational activities with Aiden, rather than only catching up on what I seem to never finish on the days I work.

I, sadly, didn't snap any photos of our morning or early afternoon, which consisted of church, lunch at the church, and then swimming at the Y. Aiden loves church because his cousins Andrew and Connor, and his friend Freddie (who is Andrew and Connor's cousin) all go there. They are all about the same age, so they all have a blast together playing and learning new things. My cousin Ashley and I (Andrew and Connor's mama) have gotten a lot closer over the past year and it's been wonderful having another mama to spend time with while our boys play together!

Aiden has really grown this year since beginning preschool. He used to have a hard time leaving me when he was unfamiliar with where we were or who I was leaving him with. He still is unsure sometimes when he doesn't have a friend there to help him adjust, but at church, with Andrew, Connor, and Freddie, I am lucky if I get a hug and kiss bye.

Aiden, Freddie, Mya, and Andrew

Aiden, Andrew, and Connor this summer at the zoo.

After church we headed to the "big room", as Aiden calls it, where we got to enjoy and delicious lunch, pot-luck style. After lunch, Aiden was very excited to find out we were heading to "Juju's pool" to go swimming with her (and a surprise guest!). Aiden was very excited to find out that my cousin Kelsey, who will be 12 this year, joined us at the pool..and would be spending the day with him and Juju Monday, as well!

This isn't from last night, but Aiden and my cousin Kelsey!

We swam from about 1pm-4pm. Aiden had a blast, but was definitely exhausted. He passed out before we even made it to the grocery store, which was our next stop on our busy day! 

 To my surprise, and my joy, Aiden was in a great mood. He even *asked* to go into the play place at Giant Eagle, which he had never been to because he never wanted to, and I was afraid he'd cause a scene. I was glad that they had more than enough room to accept him, and he went right in and started playing. He was very excited about the kitchen set they had (I REALLY need to get him one) and didn't get upset by my leaving at all. I snapped a few photos because I knew I'd want to remember this...

After the grocery store, we spent the evening at home, while we cuddled and watched a movie. Aiden was in jammies by 7pm and passed out by 8pm. I love days where it's all play and no work, and all my attention can be focused on him and just enjoying this age. I'm realizing each day, the more I prepare for our baby girl, that my attention will be divided and I'll have two kids to love on and who will both want and need my attention. I'm both excited and anxious, and oh so very blessed.

Aiden with his favorite puppy, CJ. Right before bed

That was our weekend!! Well, Sunday, anyway. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, as well.

An exciting start to the weekend!

Good Morning All!

It's 8:35am and both my boys are still asleep, but I've been up for an hour thanks to baby girl Mack. At just around 7:30am, while laying in bed, I awoke and needed a more comfortable position. I turned onto my back and lay there, trying to drift back asleep-it's not often I sleep in past 7am. Then suddenly, I felt baby girl kick, which I felt more now that I was laying on my back. She was having a party it felt like, so many movements. I woke Chris and took his hand so he could feel how awake she was. He smiled, kissed me, and was quickly back asleep. I could tell that there was very little reason for me to stay in bed, little girl was moving around so much and I was now too excited not to share the wonderful way I got to wake up today. 

18 weeks 4 days pregnant with baby girl Mack

I can't wait to begin to really feel her movements more through out the day. She is still pretty little right now, so I am pretty lucky and excited to have already felt her this much. It was definitely a wonderful beginning to my day. A day I hope to be filled with fun and productivity, something I can post about later.

Until then, have a beautiful day! It's cold..but it looks gorgeous outside

Very Exciting News!!

Hello all once again :)

I'm so excited as I write this tonight, I can hardly form my thoughts in a coherent manner. ((_In other words, bare with me!! :)_) As many who actually read this may already know, Chris and I are very excited as we are expecting our second child together come June. We are honestly beyond excited and thrilled to be expanding our family, and cannot wait to have this new member arrive and to welcome them into our home! I am so blessed to be on the adventure of a life time with a man who is always by my side no matter what, and such an amazing father to our son.

 Even the second time around, it is just as amazing to realize I get the joy of pregnancy, and feeling a beautiful life grow inside me. Something I never thought I'd get the blessing to experience even once, let alone twice. For this, I am beyond eternally grateful to God.

Last days pregnant with my Aidie babe

17 weeks pregnant with baby girl Mack

As a promise to myself for 2013, I'm trying to actually blog and scrapbook. Do more of what I actually want to do, for me, just because it's something I want to do and will cherish for years. I also have a goal of scrap-booking, which I would love to have friends to do with. I'm tired of wanting certain things in my life to change or wishing I remembered this or that better. My kids will only grow up once, and I won't sit by and not at least try my best to remember each phase of their life. This is how I will best do that, and I'm going to actually try better.

 

Her little arm stretched out perfectly so we could get a good picture of it

Today, Chris accompanied me to his first ultrasound of this pregnancy. Along with Aiden, who was very excited to be included, we watched our baby girl wiggle around, and got to hear about how healthy she looks-even at only 7 oz big. Isn't it amazing what technology can do these days?

Blurry picture, but that's her little feet

 My most favorite part of the visit to the doctors was, as I'm sure you've guessed, was when the technician said "it's a baby girl". I had mentioned that I was hoping for a girl, and when the words left her mouth I was overwhelmed with such joy, it came out in tears.

We were very lucky with our ultrasound technician because I am pretty sure she gave us more pictures today that I ever received in one visit with Aiden. Pictured below is one of my favorites, she was sticking her fingers in and out of her mouth, and we got to watch her do this for about 1 minute. It was very cute.

Both of my boys were very excited with today's news, and we are all excited for the adventure ahead. To be a family of four will certainly come with its challenges, but we couldn't be more positive about what our future holds. Our family, dare I say this, will be complete with her arrival. Something I am both sad and happy to write tonight.

 

 Until tomorrow, friends.

Apologies!

I apologize I have not kept up with this, once again! I found the end of Fall semester overtook me, and then the holidays kept me very busy, and THEN my computer died. My husband saved all of the pictures and important things, but I am without access to most of them for the moment ! :(


I wanted to post for anyone who cares that I will be doing a Christmas and New Year blog

Til then :)

Sunday Fun Day!

This past week my Aiden and I had so much fun! We have been going to church with a good friend of mine, Kirsten, and this week we ended up not ending the fun after church. After church, which Aiden did so well in considering he STILL won't stay in the play room without sobbing, we ended up doing lunch with Kirsten, her son and boyfriend, and her sister, Kate, and Kate's boyfriend, Grant. All in all there were 7 off us. While we were waiting for our food the boys [my Aiden and Kirsten's Austin] were being so cute and funny, I HAD to take a few photos so I could show them off!

They tried lemons, were giving each other hugs, and were having a tickling battle which I thought was so adorable!

 

Trying to get a nice photo was ALMOST impossible with how fast those boys move, but I love the photos I got and will cherish them forever :) It's so sweet to see Aiden really enjoy his first friendship :) We are definitely making it a goal to hang out more with Austin and his mommy :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am so sorry to have fallen so far behind. I have given up on catching up on my thankfulness, although I have so much to be thankful for, and make sure to thank God daily in prayer. I am proud of myself because I have been doing so well with school and homework, but I am trying to get better about managing my time more closely so I have more time for things I love, too-like blogging...and working out, which I desperately need, sadly-and not just my responsibilities.

It's been a very busy week at the Mack household! It was a surprisingly relaxing and enjoyable!! We did not have to be anywhere until 1pm, and we decided that we would only travel to TWO of the FOUR family events that occur for our holiday. What ever family we did not see on Thanksgiving, we make sure to see for Christmas. We came up with this last year, and it was awesome again this year. We feel less stressed because we do not have to go to as many places and focus solely on the time, it is overall more enjoyable.

We first went to Chris' aunt's house [mom's side] at 1pm. We saw aunts, uncles, cousins,grandparents, great grandparents, and friends we'd been missing. It was wonderful. Everyone noticed how big Aiden was getting, and Aiden loved being the center of attention. He especially loved the pretty girls that were there to give him some attention! I snapped some photos while he was being super adorable loving on two of Chris' cousins--Tessa, Larissa, and both of them together! :)

We, of course, got too see Grandma and Papa which Aiden was so excited about. He loves his grandparents so much. I couldn't help but take some photos. Below are also Olivia [Chris' brother's girlfriend and Aiden's unoffical aunt!] and Chris' cousin, Conner, who is way too old for my liking, but who Aiden adored.

Then came what I am sure was Aiden's favorite part of the day. Tessa was kind enough to let Aiden look at and touch her pet hamster. I was a little nervous, but the hamster was nice, and Aiden was very gentle.

We had a lot of fun at thanksgiving at Chris' aunt's house! We ended up leaving around 4:30pm to head to my dad and step mom's house. Aiden did not nap and started getting restless. I could tell because I found him doing this....

We got to my dad and step mom's house at about 5:00pm and the fun continued. Aiden slept for maybe 20 minutes in the car ride there, but he was still in a great mood!! Aiden was being silly and played with his newest [2nd] cousin's toy that he is obviously too big for.

I managed to sneak a photo of my cousin Kelsey and Josie [Aiden's 2nd cousin] having a tickle fight :)

All in all we had a great Thanksgiving, and we have so much to be thankful for. I wish I would have remembered to get a family photo, which I always desperately want, but always forgot!! Hope you had as blessed of a Thanksgiving as we did.