So we've been home since last Saturday, and it's been quite the adventure. He's actually an incredibly good baby. Very calm except for when he's hungry, and now he's beginning to realize dirty diapers are not comfortable, but he hates the changing part too! I do hate to hear and watch him cry, but man this kid has some lungs! We had our first big adventure on Wednesday...to Aiden's great grandparents house. Things went surprisingly well. Doing something and going somewhere now takes a lot more preparation than before, but I guess that's expected. He's been awake more the past few days too. It's so amazing. He's got these beautiful dark blue eyes, which I guess will change in time. He'll probably end up with brown eyes like his daddy. He changes a little bit everyday.
Nursing has gotten better. He is very good when he is patient enough to nurse. Problem now is that with the bottle feeding, although it has almost always been breast milk, has made him want to get the milk faster than he can at the breast. So he still gets upset about that. I was leaning toward just continuing to pump, not just for the night time so Chris can help, but all the time so that he is still getting breast milk but from a bottle. It's easier. I know how much he is getting [he was also falling asleep at the breast because he was so comfy, and nothing I would do would wake him up until a diaper change, and then he'd still be hungry] AND he is getting it the way he wants. Makes the feedings not take a hour too. But what I had not put into consideration was that the closeness that I'd miss from nursing, he'd miss too. It's good for him, too. So I try and keep nursing, but we both just get upset. :( Will the closeness that we lose dramatically affect him? That's what I'm really upset about. Will he still know how much I love him and still feel a connection with me? Lots of tormenting questions I keep going over and over in my head. No one could have prepared me for how hard nursing was going to be.
Besides that, and I may have sounded pretty down, things are going well. I truly am so excited and happy to be a mommy :) It's such an amazing feeling, looking at my son and knowing he is a part of me. That he lived inside of me. Through all the screams, cries, dirty diapers, and sleepless nights, to know I couldn't love anyone more than I love this little boy, truly makes it all worth it! I just keep praying, and taking it one day at a time--try to anyway. And I will say, Christopher is an incredible daddy. He's in Norwalk for the weekend, and it's amazing how much harder it is on your own. Single parents have a whole new place in my heart.
So, that's my update. It's taken a week to finally find the time to be able to write this. Here are some pictures, what I'm sure is what you really came for :) :
Big Yawn!
Day 5: Holding up his own bottle! :) Kinda..
Sleeping soundly in his little rocking chair
Holding mommy's finger <3
Eyes partially open :) Looking at the camera, holding mommy's fingerAnd I promise, more to come soon. I've been taking lots!!
What a week it has been indeed. Aiden Lawrence Mack joined us in this world on Tuesday July 14th at 1:47pm--after a long wait. We arrived at the hospital at 8:00am...scheduled for a c-section at 10:00am. Of course, nothing goes as planned and when I was taken back to begin the long prepping process they informed me I needed a heart echo [no serious problems with my heart....just things they want to keep track of that are caused by my Turner's, I won't bore you!] That wasn't scheduled until 10:00am....2 long hours later I returned to wait once again to be told I can go back and be prepped for surgery. It was around 1:00pm they told me it wouldn't be long now. Before I knew it....1:47pm came around....I heard his first cry. An amazing thing I can't even begin to describe. After a long day, and a difficult start to surgery [I got sick] and with Christopher's newves racing too it was such a relief to hear him cry.They showed him to me for a second, then took him to be cleaned and make sure everything was alright. He had trouble breathing at first because of liquid in his lungs [common with c-section babies] so they took him away pretty fast....Chris didn't even get to hold me, just look. Recovery was long, I had to be able to move my legs and lift my butt before I could go to my room and they would let me hold Aiden. Finally at 5:00pm I met my baby boy and it was the most incredible thing. It's been Heaven ever since. We're having trouble nursing...he can't remember to not have his tongue on the roof of his mouth and my body is making things harder for him too...but slowly but surely learning. I've had 3 simply amazing lactation specialists come in and assist Aiden and myself, and they have been most encouraging. He has a great latch and with time will remember how to do it as he gets older. I just keep praying I don't get discouraged and frustrated because it is so sad to see him struggle so hard for some thing he wants to bad. He's lost a total of 12 oz because of our trouble nursing. They have informed us he is supposed to stay tonight and as long as he maintains his weight [of 7lbs 3 oz] he can go home tomorrow sometime. In the mean time, I've enjoyed the many visitors we've had...and can't wait to be home with my sweet baby boy, enjoying him there :)I don't really know what else to say....I'm feeling better today, best day so far. My c-section went fantastic and my scar looks fantastic-ha! I'm sore, but I can't think of a better reason to be in pain than that baby boy who is sleeping so soundly right next to me. God is so amazingly incredible to have given Chris and I this wonderful miracle! I'll post pictures now and stop ranting :) I'll be sure to post on here lots as he grows and changes...of course, after I make sure I get my rest ;-)
There isn't much to say as I sit here with my Christopher thinking about what tomorrow brings. Excited and scared are only a few of the emotions I am feeling. What we are feeling. Going to spend time with Christopher and eventually try and sleep--wondering if it'll be worth it.
Updates with pictures asap after Aiden is born :)
So, I'm babysitting two sweet girls right now--Jordan&&Peyton--really enjoying the fact they can entertain themselves, but still need me for things like breakfast, lunch,&&silly questions =]
This past week was rather uneventful, which is the reason for not posting. I started a post on two different days, but never finished them because there wasn't anything to post about. I've been working...Ice Age&Public Enemies came out--whoo, not. Had a doctors appointment, which was also uneventful. July 14th is quickly approaching though. :) Uneventful week, but a nice one for the most part. Spent Friday night with Christopher's parents//saw fireworks at Buckeye Lake [nice since they were far enough away that Aiden wasn't frightened by it, therefore I could enjoy them!]\\Had a relaxing, and slightly boring, 4th. &&Sunday I spent time with my mom&&sister before an evening full of Kochers at my grandma's! Hope everyone enjoyed their July 4th weekend!!
This week is pretty busy for me though. I am babysitting 7:00am-4:00[ish]pm Monday-Friday&&working Monday, Tuesday&&Thursday 5:00pm-12:00am/1:00am! It'll be nice when the paycheck comes though!! Last week of work before little Aiden is here, can't believe it. I find myself growing more nervous to have it not just be me&&Chris anymore. I can see our relationship/marriage struggling more than I realized was possible because of a child. It's going to take a lot of selflessness, prayers, &&communication, none of which I am very good at, to make sure we don't lose what we have&&to make sure it only continues to grow.
Nonetheless I'm very excited for this adventure, and I know with God, friends, family, &&love we'll make it through.
Not a very interesting post, but I had some time&& felt like putting up an update. Only 8 days until our sweet baby boy is here&&I'm sure then I'll have lots of better/more interesting things to post about!
